Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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