Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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