im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
MIDGETS
????
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
