walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
