remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
