He uses pillows to masturbate.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
