I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
