forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
