I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
