I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
