clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
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