Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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