I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
