We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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