We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
