it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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