I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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