I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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