Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
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I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
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I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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