We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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