He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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