How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
