Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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