Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
