Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
