then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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