Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
