I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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