Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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