and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize