Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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