btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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