First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize