just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
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Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
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It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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