Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
