my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
