hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
