I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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