i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
