I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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