dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
