You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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