nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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