My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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