Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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