Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
