Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just gift wrapped bread.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
a search helicopter?!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
