you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
