sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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