At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
