Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
