Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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