Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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