He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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