It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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