you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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