What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize