Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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