I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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