Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
