took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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