I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
