sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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