Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
