Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
