ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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