Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
