paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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