sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
