I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
