He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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